Hearing children say they don’t like themselves can be deeply painful for a parent to hear. Even though self-deprecating thoughts are very common, they are not often talked about. The Girl and the Sun children’s book, helps individuals connect with their hearts so that when they have stressful, judging thoughts, they can recognize them as just thoughts that they don’t have to believe. The book teaches that the more an individual practices self-love, the smaller that judging voice in their mind becomes.
5 ways to teach kids to love themselves.
1) Model to your children that you love yourself. Self-love does not mean “I love myself because…”. Instead self-love means having a continuous dialogue with yourself to ensure you are emotionally, mentally, and physically supported. It means speaking to yourself as you would speak to your own child or pet.
2) Express to your kids that you love them no matter what, and that your love for them does not increase or decrease depending on their behaviour. When they succeed in school or a sport, tell them that you are very proud of them for working hard. Then ask them, “Does your success make me love you more? No, because I already love you 100%. That love does not change.” When they learn that their worth is not dependent on how they perform in life, they learn that they are worthy of love just because they exist.
3) Through The Girl and The Sun children’s book, teach kids that they have a sun inside their heart that is their warm, wise leader. Their sun is like a parent that is always there for them loving and guiding them throughout the day. Through the sun metaphor, a child learns they can be a parent to them self, and they always have this part inside of them that loves them no matter what.
4) With The Girl and The Sun, have your child imagine they have a cloud that floats above their head and is in charge of their stressful, judging thoughts. If they ever hear thoughts in their mind that put them self or others down, these are coming from the cloud. The cloud is not who they are. Who they really are is their sun. When they hear their cloud speaking and putting them down, then they can remind them self that they don’t have to believe what the cloud says. Instead, they can bring their attention to the loving sun in their heart and know that it holds the truth.
5) Teach kids that when they let the sun in their heart lead their life, then the sun’s beams shine through the cloud and turn their stressful thoughts into loving ones, and they paint the world with their own unique rainbow. Each colour of their rainbow indicates a different emotion they express to the world. Their emotions teach them their values, interests and passions, and when they let their sun lead, they feel free to make a difference in the world, and let their true colours shine. Self-love emerges from feeling like they are making a contribution, creating something new, and expressing their true self.
Find Ashley McIntosh’s self-development blog, book, & workshops: www.ashleyandthesun.com
Find a free worksheet on painting the world with your own rainbow: here
The sun, cloud, and rainbow metaphors that make up the story in my children’s book The Girl and the Sun were molded piece by piece from my own pain and subsequent drive to overcome it. I use these metaphors every day to parent myself and my children. They are not my own ideas. They come from many teachers along the way: Anita Johnston, Eckhart Tolle, Byron Katie, Jeff Foster, Tara Brach, Marianne Williamson, and many counselors and colleagues who guided me along my journey. Through The Girl and The Sun I can now share them with the world. Please visit www.ashleyandthesun.com/free-handouts-parents-and-teachers for free handouts and www.ashleyandthesun.com for a thorough explanation of the sun, cloud and rainbow metaphors.